oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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