I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Actions speak louder than pants.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
