then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
