i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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