I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
