Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Dear god my vagina.
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