You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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