Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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