I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
