I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
