...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
