my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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