I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
one two three fourrrrnication!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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