I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
