yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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