i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Floor bacon is actually really good
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize