thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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