Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
