He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
