so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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