im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I smell stomach acid.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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