dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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