there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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