My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
