Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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