Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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