im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
its not stalking. its research.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Randomize
