our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
