I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
