the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize