So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
