walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
