I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
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I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
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Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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