i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Randomize
