even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
