He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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