When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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