im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
