you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
