He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
