I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
