I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
