We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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