We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
