Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
