Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
