And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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