if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
