He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
