Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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