The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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