p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
