You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She needs sedatives and a leash
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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