Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Actions speak louder than pants.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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