he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
