Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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