hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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