cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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