so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
this must be what syphilis tastes like
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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