no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
