i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
