I want to make a zoo with you.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
