I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
