I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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