I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
