we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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