she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
