he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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